I don't know...

"I don't know" those three words seem to be Sir's motto these last couple of months.

"So you seemed like you had a lot going on, and I didn't want to bring it up, but we talked about doing spankings three times a week and it happened once after that... What is...?"

"I don't know" sigh

"Oh, ok..." Silence.

At what point do I just say I'm done? It's been months since I last read someone else's blog, because it's been too painful, too much wishful thinking. Hell, it's been months since I've logged onto the actual blogger website. I've just been blogging from my phone so I wouldn't have to look at other people's blogs talking about their journey. I'm so tired of having a husband who seems like he can find time or energy for everything but our D/s. I'm tired of feeling resentful of our son because of the attention he is given. I'm tired of having a Sir who goes through the motions, who I have such a desire to serve, but appears to neither wants nor desires my submission.

I've been what we'll call "miss sassy pants" lately, and a large part of it is because I'm so damn tired of fucking around with a man who's answer 95% of the time is "I don't know". How the hell can you not know for that much???

If he wants to finish our D/s relationship then ok, I just need to know. And if he does, it will hurt, a lot. Because he knew coming into marriage that I strive and desire submission.