Being still and changes

Things have been quiet on this end these last several weeks as far as TTWD is concerned. Our lives outside of TTWD have been anything but however. 

It's frustrating how the moment I take time off from life, things that had needed a bit of TLC before suddenly need a visit to the ER of life. We spent a good chunk of time discussing (I use that phrase extremely loosely) our marriage and our future plans for our lives. The only thing not discussed was TTWD. He never wanted to talk about it, and I didn't want to push him. It was probably one of the most frustrating months we've had in a long time, in part because of that reason. I never understood why he refused to talk about something that he knew was incredibly important to me, and I assumed was important to him as well. And it was incredibly painful not having that in our lives. 

But, we've come around to a good place. We've discovered a really healthy means of communicating about difficult topics, via writing back and forth to each other. It gives each person a chance to lay out what they have to say, with out the rising tempers that normally accompany a certain sort of discussion. 

This month has been challengingin other   unexpected ways. When I started my break I had no intention of looking at grad schools. I really thought I was done for a while. And then something sort of fell into my lap that changed my mind; an invitation to a MBA admissions event at a local very prestigious university. I went at the serious urging of Sir and my therapist, not planning on doing anything with the experience, just intending on using it as an excuse to get out of the apartment for the day. But the experience I had that day really changed where I thought I was going. So I'm working on getting my application in, and we will see where that takes me. In addition to grad school though a work opportunity presented itself. A position with a regional company opened up that fits my experience to the T. Again, I wasn't planning on moving positions, I love where I'm at, and the ability to work from home and be with little bug is so important to me. But having a position with financial security would be huge. As would the fact that Sir could leave his current job and be a stay at home dad and full time student. So I'll apply, and see where that takes me. 

It's really been a month of changes that were unexpected. There has been growth, and tears, and anger throughout. But at the end of it, it's been a good month. Our marriage is finally getting the hard work and dedication it needs, and TTWD is still present. Not as much as I would like, but there is definitely dialogue.