To Levi

I dreamt about you last night. I supposed it was only natural given the amount of thinking that I had done about you yesterday. But it did come as a bit of a shock. You were different, kinder, sweeter, only wanting to see me. I searched for you, wanting to be with you. There was no thought of the rape in my dream. Only a poignant searching of two people. It reminded me of how I used to feel about you. Unable to stay away, simply wanting to be with you, despite the underlying subconscious feeling of dread that came with your presence.  We were so innocent in my dream, there was no evil lurking in your eyes, but I never really could see it after the rape. People kept telling me that you were and are evil. But I refused to believe them. Even after finding out that you had planned everything, it was not evil that I saw, more a desperate search for intimacy and physical pleasure. Should my thoughts paint you as a monster? Because I seem unable to portray you that way. Is it sheer naivete on my part, to not recognize the potential for evil in you?