Waiting more and wanting more

This week has been a bit of a blur with school starting back up for Sir, a work project of mine becoming all consuming, and a couple of nights with bad sleep. Last week Sir told me that he had used some money that I was hoping would go to new glasses for him on me instead. I had no idea what it was, just that I was to find out yesterday. Oh, and that he was "kicking" me out of the house for the day and watching little bug for me to give me a break. All week I'd been trying to get some information out of him about what it was, and all I got was "I'm dropping you off somewhere and picking you up when you're ready to be picked up". Not a lot to work with, that's for sure. Oh my goodness, he totally blew my mind yesterday with what he had planned for me. 

Not giving me any guidance regarding my outfit and shoes other than "doesn't matter if you're in heels or flats, you're not going to be doing much walking" (ok, rules out being dropped in the middle of the forest, but that's about it...) he whisked me off around 9.30 yesterday morning and delivered me to a nicer day spa downtown, told me that everything was paid for, they were expecting me, and that I was to get myself some coffee when I was done and let him know when I wanted to be picked up. The man is winning brownie points to get him easily through the next year. 

The spa was amazing. The all day treatment started off with an hour long massage, followed by a body scrub and facial, then lunch, and was concluded with a mani-pedi with a paraffin dip for both hands and feet. I left feeling so much like myself again, and not like I had just given birth not too long ago. It really was exactly what the doctors had called for. Sir finished off the amazing day with making roasted lemon and rosemary chicken and bacon wrapped scallops for dinner. I did mention the incredible number of brownie points he's scoring, right?

Anyways, after all of that, and well into our bottle of wine, we were finally able to discuss the renewing of our contract. It was one of the best conversations we've had in a long time about ttwd. We both were able to open up about some things that we wanted to change, fears we were experiencing and things the other person could stand to work on. The conversation lasted several hours and covered just about everything that we could possibly talk about. At the end of the conversation it was decided that we would take a couple of days to think over everything that was said, and we would convene to have contract conversation pt. 2 the first of next week, pending schedules of course. 

I hate waiting, always have, probably always will. If I've made a decision I like to act on it almost immediately. It might take me a little while to finally make the decision, but once I do it's action time. This period of waiting to think about what we've talked about is entirely frustrating. In my mind I've made up my mind and I want to go go go. None of this sitting around thinking more about it business. But, that's not how Sir works. He is a "lets talk about it, think about it, talk about it, and maybe think about it some more before we decide to act" type of man. Which is perfectly fine, but sometimes drives me up the wall. Especially when it's about a topic like this. Part of what was discussed last night was adding in more structure, more spankings, more punishments when needed, less of letting me get away with murder, less of me trying to get away with murder, etc. You get the idea, more D/s than before. 

I've been a blog stalker for some time now, and I occasionally experience what I like to call submissives envy. Everybody else has more D/s in their lives, more toys, more spankings, more kneeling, etc. then we do. And I want it!!!! Regardless of the fact that most everybody else is further along in their relationships than we are, or don't have a 3 almost 4 month old, or are living in an environment more conducive to this type of relationship, or something else, I want what they have. But, the fact of the matter remains that I can't have quite what they have, because Sir and I aren't them. We are us, and our relationship is wonderful, and scary, and good, and challenging and filled with its own ups and down and toys and D/s and everything that makes us uniquely us. So while I may be wanting more, I need to keep remembering that what I have right now is really rather wonderful. 

So, we are waiting for a couple more days to think, and I'm working on not coveting my neighbor's ass, or whip, or rule. And I'm going to do it while enjoying what I have, like my amazing husband and Sir, a perfectly happy and healthy child, and the healthy starts to a wonderful and lasting D/s relationship. Definitely looking for to our next conversation though!

Food p.s. That leftover chicken carcass from last night? So definitely going into my stock pot. Nothing better on a cooler fall morning than a steaming cup of homemade chicken stock with fresh sauerkraut and egg.